Strange Things are Afoot At the Circle K
by Vocaloid3SeeU
Summary: Eh, well, I'm not good at writing summaries.


**Hello! Here is a crack fic. A crack fic with proper grammer! That's the best kind of crack fic. The title is a quote from one of my favorite stupid movies of all time-Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure! It's most righteous and non-heinous, go check it out. **

**I'm sure some people will read this wondering, "What the Prussia is an Utau? Vocaloid? Ritsu? Defoko?" Well, e-chu-ma-kate yo bad selves with this! The Utau Wiki! ****.com/wiki/UTAU_wiki**

**I don't own the Circle K. Never will. Ever. Ever ever. They own themselves. I also don't own Vocaloid. Crypton and a bunch of other companies in Japan do. And Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Don't own that either. And finally, Utau. I don't own that.**

**PG-13 for some language and perhaps some other PG-13-ish things later on if I continue. **

**Now. On with the fic!**

/

"…then later today, Uta Utane, otherwise known as Defoko, and Momo Momone are having their first joint concert, singing their signature songs such as Nyanyanyanya and Defoko no Uta! Also, if you're going, make sure to bring an umbrella because we're expecting showers later…"

A very tired Ritsu Namine woke up to the terribly cheerful chatter of the morning radio station, talking about the upcoming Uta/Momo concert. That he really wanted all the Utau to be in, but everyone thought that Uta and Momo should have the spotlight this time. Ritsu, who felt like he never ever got a chance to be in the spotlight, was highly disappointed and started pouting and trying to refrain from speaking to either Uta or Momo.

Quickly getting up and decided to keep the long button up night shirt on him (that was not gender appropriate- but then again, neither were the rest of Ritsu's clothes) because not bothering to change was kind of his thing, Ritsu excited his bedroom and slowly trotted down the wooden staircase to the dining room where most of his Utau 'friends' were eating and conversing. "Good morning," he said, as softly and sweetly as Korean Sweet Potatoes with Yangnyeom sauce.

Instead of a return cheerful, "Good morning Ritsu-chan!" that the red-head expected from at least Teto and Tei, he was greeted by unusually noisy chattering and bickering from his fellow Utauloids.

"Where's my hair brush?"

"Has anyone seen my beret? I need my beret!"

"Are my baguettes gone?"

"Sorry, I had your last…"

"Aw! Damn it! I was looking forward to that!"

"Sorry. I'll go to store today and get you some more."

"Oh, naw, it's fine, I guess. I needed to go to the store anyway."

"Can you get me some more coffee too? I seem to have run out. This is my last cup."

"Oh…Yeah… I drank it."

"Do you ever ask anyone for anything?"

"Maybe, I dunno."

"My apron! It's stained! It's a part of my uniform! What am I supposed to do? This was my last clean one and I have a concert with Uta today…"

"Oh chill Momo, a little club soda will take that right out, don't worry. Did you steal my beret?"

"Why in the hell would I do that?"

"And good morning to you guys too," Ritsu muttered under his breath, stalking silently to the fridge and pulling out a container of pre-cooked Chinese cabbage, quickly and swiftly dumping the contents onto a plate and throwing them into the microwave.

Uta looked up and waved. "Heya Ritsu, whatcha doing today? Are you coming to see the concert?" Ritsu looked up and smiled in Ruko's direction, but it looked more like a grimace.

"Ruko-san, please tell Defoko that I'm so so so so _so~_ so so so sorry, but I just can't come. I have more… important… things to do today," he sneered sarcastically and sat down on a chair next to Tei and plucked the magazine she was reading out of her hands.

"Oi! I was reading that," Tei squealed and pouted. Ritsu grunted a small sorry that he _really _didn't mean, and then read the title of the article she was reading. 'Kagamine Len- the 2012's Sexiest Shota Alive?' Really Tei?" Ritsu said questioningly with a scoff.

"It's true," Tei replied, pouting even more. "And give that back, it's mine." Ritsu tossed the magazine in Tei's general direction and got up suddenly, almost knocking the chair over.

"God! Ritsu, what's up yo butt?" Ruko asked, a large coffee cup in her hands. Teto smiled mischievously. "Little Ritsu's having a dry spell, ain't he?" Ritsu's face donned a blush as he grabbed a fork from the utensil drawer and sat back down again with his cabbage. "No way, never. Me? Dry spell? Haha, you are funn-ay Teto-san," he said, looking down at his food like it was the most interesting thing in the word. Uta shook her head. "Someone's in den-ai-el!" Ruko sang, being the big romanticist in the Utau group, seeing the lonely in Ritsu's eyes.

"Dry spell, no way," Ritsu muttered again and, for the second time in that hour, got up suddenly almost knocking the chair over. "Yah know what? I'll just eat upstairs." And with that, he left and stomped upstairs, cabbage in hand.

/

Ritsu did everything to calm himself down- eat more cabbage, clean and tidy his room, clean Teto's room just for kicks, sit in his newly clean room with some awesome vanilla scented candles that Tei got him for his 2 year release date anniversary reading his favorite Korean romance novel, take a warm bath, but nothing worked. He knew that he had a dry spell- he broke up with his last boyfriend a few months ago (turns out that he thought Ritsu was a girl… that made things a whole new kind of awkward.)

After his bath, Ritsu changed into his favorite black gothic style dress, new heels that he bought last week, long black gloves, his favorite leather purse, and, because the nice radio people said that there'd be rain, he grabbed his umbrella. There was, unfortunately.

After making sure that there was no one else in the house (there weren't- all the Utaus had gone to the Uta/Momo concert. That Ritsu wasn't in.), Ritsu strode to the door, not really sure where he was going.

Walking in the freexing rain wasn't Ritsu's number one choice for reliving stress, but it was the last choice he had. "That retarded Defoko... she doesn't even sound remotely close to being an actual human being," he muttered under his breath, and instantly regretted it. As annoying and stubborn Uta was, she was one of his friends. A fellow Utau.

He should be nicer.

She should let him sing at their big concert because he never got big concerts.

That retarded Defoko.

Ritsu shivered and seethed with anger. He never got a concert, like, ever. Ever. Ever ever ever ever. And Teto got a big concert at least once a month. At least. Damn. Ritsu found himself walking toward the subway station. Once he arrived inside, he randomly picked a train and hopped on just a few seconds before the doors closed.

Sighing with relief, he searched for an empty seat in the car- luckily they were plentiful. He wondered if maybe someone he knew was on the train. He scanned the car again and found a girl sitting patiently adjusting her long teal pigtails.

"Heya Miku," Ritsu said casually with a forced smile, which he hoped looked natural. Miku quickly returned a smile. "Heya Ritsu. Why aren't you at the concert?" Ritsu sighed and sat down. "Oh, no reason," he said rather quickly, running a hand through his long silky red hair. "What about you? I heard from SeeU that almost every Vocaloid, even the V3 Vocaloids, are going to the concert."

"All the tickets were sold out before I could get to them."

"Ah. Where are you headed, Miku?"

"Game Explosion. Left for Dead 2 just came out," she said with a smile and rifled through her purse just to make sure she didn't forget her wallet. Ritsu shifted in his seat, not knowing what to talk about. Miku spoke, breaking the silence. "So, if not the concert, where are you going?"

Ritsu really wanted to have an answer to that question. He really did. But he didn't. So he made something up. "I'm going to the Circle K. They have a limited time 'Buy a corndog, get another one free' deal. I love corndogs." Miku looked at the emerald-eyed Utau, puzzled by this… this so-called 'corndog.'

"What's a… corndog?"

"Cheap wieners battered in corn 'n other things, then deep fried."

"This is… intriguing. Where was this corndog invented?"

"America."

"Oh, well that makes sense," Miku replied innocently. Ritsu stifled a giggle. She hadn't meant to sound racist, really, it just came naturally. "Mind if I join you to buy these corndogs?" Ritsu sighed. "_I really wasn't planning on going, but if I turned Miku down she'd cry,"_ Ritsu thought._ "No one wants to make Miku Hatsune cry. It's just inhumane. Then again, we __**are**__ software programs, but still. Wow, I really need to stop over thinking things. Well, there was a buy one get one free deal at the Circle K, and I do love corndogs…"_

"Sure. You're welcome to come with me."

"Coolio!"

/

Fortunately, the Circle K was a very convenient five blocks away from the subway station, so that was fun for Ritsu to hike in high heels that hadn't quite been broken in yet (seeing as they were new and such).

Miku swore she could spot the giant Circle K sign from two blocks away- the large 'Corndogs- Get Your American Delicious-ness Free if You Buy Another One' posters plastered on the windows of the convenience store didn't help make it inconspicuous. Not that it would want to. After all, advertizing _is_ a big part in running a business.

Upon entering the facility, Ritsu could smell the beautiful scent all the fatty goodness that was American food inside the tiny building. "You know, I used to be a vegetarian," Ritsu said to the pigtailed piece of software on his right, who was gaping at the huge Slushie machine. "Until I ate a hamburger. Now meat just sings to me."

Miku gave a grunt of acknowledgment and turned her attention to the male cashier, who was at least 17 years old and covered in zits, pretending not to text while, in fact, doing just that. And very obviously. Ritsu concluded that The Amazing Zit Boy would not be a very good ninja.

"Hey, I'm going to get some Twinkies," Ritsu said to Miku, who couldn't stop taking in the gross magnificence that was (and still is) Zit-boy. He was like a car wreck… You know you shouldn't look… but… you just couldn't take your eyes off of it when you do.

Ritsu walked to the isle with all the junk food on it. The glorious junk food. He preferred Korean snacks though, but they didn't have them here. Which was why he didn't shop here all too often.

Ritsu stuck his hand into the big box of Twinkies on the shelf and grabbed a thing that… Wasn't a Twinkie. Instead, it was an oval shaped object. Ritsu's intrest piqued. He knew he should probably just take it up to The Zitinator, but instead he slipped it into his purse and sauntered over to his new best friend, who was still mesmerized by how many zits that dude behind the counter had.

"Should we go?" Ritsu asked the Vocaloid. "Hmm? Oh, yeah sure. Wait, what about the corn-thingys?"

"Oh. Yeah. Oi, you," Ritsu snapped at 'Hello, my name is Bryan', who looked up from his iPhone. "Two corndogs," he said. "Please," he added with a pearly white smile.

/

"That was an interesting experience," Miku said, plopping down on one of the subway car's wonderfully uncomfortable seats. "I never knew that one place could have so much junk food."

The train screeched to a halt at Miku's stop. "Ah, well. Off I go!" she said cheerily. "S'later."

"S'later."

Ritsu sat by himself for a little while before remembering the strange Twinkie thing he stole. He snatched it up from his purse, and studied it for a little while. He noticed a small white button on the side.

Against his better judgment, Ritsu pressed the button.

/

**Cliffhanger!**

**Can ya'll do me a favor? Comment or PM me with your favorite T.V. shows, books, movies, manga, etc. please!**

**Hope to see you next chapter!**


End file.
